Monday, September 30, 2013

50 Facts that will make you smile

Shamelessly stolen from the fine folks at /r/AskReddit, who probably stole it from someone else.

100. Blind people smile like everyone else, even though they've never seen anyone else do it. Smiling is built-in.

99. Otters have a pocket in their skin for their favorite rock.

98. Everyone who comments on your post is thinking of you.

97. Every cow has their own best friend that they hang around with.

96. Each year, hundreds of trees grow just because squirrels forgot where they hid their food.

95. Breaking Bad stopped before it became a sell out and was boring.

94. So did Cowboy Bebop.

93. The quokka is the happiest and friendliest animal on the Earth, and exists as one of the only untrained animals that commonly make and enjoy human contact.

92. Hedgehogs are called that because they are known around the UK for being very beneficial to gardeners. UK gardeners often cut little hedgehog holes in their fences so they can roam freely.

91. The voice actors for Mickey Mouse (Wayne Allwine) and Minnie Mouse (Russi Taylor) were married in real life.

90. A group of pugs is called a grumble.

89. A group of ferrets is called a business.

88. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance

87. A group of baboons is called a congress.

86. At one point, you were someone's reason for thought.

85. If you're a man, right now you have the same amount of Tour De France wins and twice the amount of testicles as Lance Armstrong.

84. Humpbacks have "genres" of music they play.

83. Elephants will put themselves in harm's way to save another species. Because of this, most elephants have virtually no enemies in the wilderness.

82. Baby chimps will play with dolls and toys.

81. Beluga whales like listening to fine arts.

80. Rats and mice are ticklish.

79. They also laugh.

78. There's a spooky skeleton inside you! Boo!

77. No matter what, Mr. Rodgers would be proud of you.

76. Look up the Dodge Daytona or Plymouth Super Bird. See the wing on the back? Back in the 60s, people speculated that Chrysler had NASA design the wing for maximum aerodynamic efficiency. Years later, Chrysler engineers admit that it was only made that way so that the trunk could open.

75. If you take a sea sponge and put it in the blender, then leave it over night, the sea sponge will be back together as good as new.

74. If you took the entire solar system, then shrunk it down so that the sun is at your head and pluto at your feet, Uranus would be at... your anus.

73. When otters sleep, they hold hands.

72. When all the otters in the universe hold hands, it is foretold that they create the Ultimate Otter, destined to enslave the human race.

71. Smiling inadvertently improves your mood :)

70. When you dream, you only dream of people you've seen in real life. So chances are if you dream of someone, you've seen them before.

69. The same goes both ways -- if someone sees you, they've likely dreamed of you.

68. Penguins propose by giving their mate a single pebble.

67. To prove his glory and valor, Roman emperor Caligua got his army to attack the Roman god Neptune. This ended up with a bunch of guys stabbing at some water. 

66. No one complained about the orders being ridiculous not because they were afraid of the consequences, but because they were having too much fun.  

65. A six-year old in UK once wrote to the Railroad Museum to apply for a job there. This is what he wrote them:
"I have an electric train track. I am good on my train track. I can control two trains at once."
They invited him and named him "Director of Fun".

64. A group of bunnies is called a fluffle.

63. During the space race, the Apollo astronauts were given sleeves in which to put their dicks and piss in a bag. The problem was that they kept slipping off, because none of them would take first two of the three size options: Small, Medium, Large.
Instead of redesigning the entire system, NASA came up with a simple solution. They relabeled them as Large, Gigantic, and Humongous. The problem was solved.

62. Turtles can breathe out of their butts.

61. I don't have herpes - Pants_R_Overatd

60. You used to be part of a star.

59. Octopy have testicles located at the top of their head.

58. The man who does Winnie the Pooh's voice spends some of his spare time ringing up children in the cancer wards of hospitals putting on Winnie's voice and telling them how much he loves them and how brave they are.

57. "I partially shit my pants a month ago because I misjudged a fart. I'm 21." - BigEasyBobcat

56. " petted a little puppy on my street today and that puppy was so happy to be petted, she fell over her own feet from wagging her tail so hard." - rudesby

55. “If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” - Mr. Rodgers

54. "When boys die, they become ghosts. When girls die, they become ballerinas." - zignut's 5 year old son

53. There's a website called "The Good News Network" (http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/) that only posts good news.

52.Relative to its size, the barnacle has the largest penis.

51. this was never

50. even finished lol [6/21/16]

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Saturday, September 28, 2013

Dreams

the lost ghjiop: do you ever have one of those dreams
the lost ghjiop: and something happens in the dream
ig.Astuka: its pretty fucking cool expecially the sex part
the lost ghjiop: like you fall
ig.Astuka: but lucid dreaming is fucking cray
the lost ghjiop: and then you jump
the lost ghjiop: irl
ig.Astuka: oh yeah
ig.Astuka: sometimes i have it before i go to bed
ig.Astuka: like i feel like im falling
ig.Astuka: and i just snap up
the lost ghjiop: dude i hate that
ig.Astuka: me too
the lost ghjiop: once it happened to me 5 times in a row
ig.Astuka: dreams are so fucking cool
the lost ghjiop: yeah
ig.Astuka: but seriously lucid dreaming is like
ig.Astuka: okay you know how when you remember the dream it kind of has this weird 360p shitty youtube quality
ig.Astuka: when you remember it
the lost ghjiop: yeah
ig.Astuka: well lucid dreaming is like fucking crysis 3 max quality 1080p
ig.Astuka: plus you can smell
ig.Astuka: move your hands
ig.Astuka: do whatever the fuck you want
ig.Astuka: i only had it for a few seconds when i did
ig.Astuka: i was in a car going up this cliff with like a fucking crazy ass purple sunset skybox surrounding me
ig.Astuka: and this nice little icelandish cottage at the bottom of the cliff
ig.Astuka: then i noticed i had full control
ig.Astuka: so i just focus on the cliff and waved my hand
ig.Astuka: and i like fucking force-pulled the rocks off of the mountain and they tumbled down into the cottage
ig.Astuka: then it ended
ig.Astuka: but it was so cray
the lost ghjiop: all of my dreams are really dark
the lost ghjiop: and depressing
ig.Astuka: mine are all about sex
ig.Astuka: to be fair that's all i ever think about
ig.Astuka: sex and murdering people
the lost ghjiop: the one dream i had about sex
ig.Astuka: - my dreams in a nutshell
the lost ghjiop: was a dream where it was like a 3 way or something
the lost ghjiop: and i went home after it
the lost ghjiop: and killed myself for some reason
the lost ghjiop: idk
ig.Astuka: its all a metaphor
ig.Astuka: obviously
ig.Astuka: for like 6 years i never had a nightmare
ig.Astuka: up until i discovered sleep paralysis
the lost ghjiop: none of my dreams are nightmares
the lost ghjiop: they're all like really realistic
ig.Astuka: sometimes they were set up like i was going to be spooked but in the end i just killed whatever it was
the lost ghjiop: and really dark
ig.Astuka: like once these aliens invaded and kidnapped my parents but it felt weird and had that ominous spooky feeling
ig.Astuka: but i ended up camping in the corner and fucking slamming the door into the face of the aliens anytime they walked through
ig.Astuka: there's also a lot of recurring places in my dreams for some reason
ig.Astuka: like there's an 80s club and a dark rainy cave and a wine cellar
ig.Astuka: idk

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Steam Controller

"A different kind of gamepad"

"We set out with a singular goal: bring the Steam experience, in its entirety, into the living-room. We knew how to build the user interface, we knew how to build a machine, and even an operating system. But that still left input — our biggest missing link. We realized early on that our goals required a new kind of input technology — one that could bridge the gap from the desk to the living room without compromises. So we spent a year experimenting with new approaches to input and we now believe we’ve arrived at something worth sharing and testing with you."



Well, you can't say it's not unorthodox, but in the end it might turn into an extremely comfortable controller. Only time will tell.

Well, that concludes the Steam 2013 announcements. How do you feel? Hyped? Disappointed? Is this a new technological innovation Valve's about to release, or just Ouya 2.0? I suppose that's up to you to decide.

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Cool tetrahedral lights

"Designer Ed Chew takes a green step in the right direction with the TetraBox lamp, a light object made from discarded drink packets that would have otherwise ended up in landfills already packed to the brim. The design is achieved by unfolding the packets and refolding them into hexagonal and pentagonal sections that are then pieced together to form a geodesic sphere or any other desired shape. Here, the Epcot-like ball makes an attractive overhead light and casts an impressive web of shadows and shapes on the surrounding space."










Source: www.yankodesign.com

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

"Steam Machines" announced

I don't have much time here so I'll just be copying and pasting a bit (http://store.steampowered.com/livingroom/SteamMachines/)

"Finally, a multiple choice answer
Entertainment is not a one-size-fits-all world. We want you to be able to choose the hardware that makes sense for you, so we are working with multiple partners to bring a variety of Steam gaming machines to market during 2014, all of them running SteamOS."

"But first, Valve’s prototype
While these products are still in development, we need your help. As always, we believe the best way to ensure that the right products are getting made is to let people try them out and then make changes as we go. We have designed a high-performance prototype that’s optimized for gaming, for the living room, and for Steam. Of course, it’s also completely upgradable and open.

This year we’re shipping just 300 of these boxes to Steam users, free of charge, for testing. You can make yourself eligible to get one. How? Read on!"

"THE HARDWARE BETA ELIGIBILITY QUEST:
Before October 25, log in to Steam and then visit your quest page to track your current status towards beta test eligibility
3. Make 10 Steam friends (if you haven't already)
4. Create a public Steam Community profile (if you haven't already)
5. Play a game using a gamepad in Big Picture mode"


Now I would try for it, but I'm pretty sure I don't have a "gamepad" (aka xbox 360 controller) so I'll have to pass on this one.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

New Reviewing System

We're on a roll! This is like, what, the FOURTH day in a row we've actually had content? This has to be a major first.

Anyway it turns out that the PronounciationBook video was really just disappointing and didn't actually symbolize the forecoming of World War III (who knew?) So instead I'm going to crank out my alternate story for today:

I know I've only reviewed one game (on this blog). I put stress on (on this blog) because if you look far enough you're bound to find many more reviews I've done (see ImYourGamer and, oh hey, AstukaGaming Reviews). Most of them have gone on an average"1-10" score, but while trying to figure out a good, real list for my top 25 games I stumbled upon something that could work.

A game is rated by four essential categories: Gameplay, Story, Art, and Music. These are EACH rated from 1-10, adding up to a total of 40 points. Games get bonus points if they have a lot of immersion (+5) or easter eggs (+3). Overall, that adds up to 48 total points.

What it leads to is a hard but helpful rating system that genuinely helps people figure out if games are good. Before I get into some of the games I "test rated", here is what each of the percentages mean:

100%-90%: Legendary, and one of the very best games ever made. Few can obtain this award, but if they do, then they likely deserve it.
89%-80%: Above average. A great game with some incredible characteristics. Definitely worth playing.
79%-70%: Average. Not good, not bad, this game is in the middle of the road and can probably still be considered good by people who enjoy the genre.
69%-60%: Worse than average, but still okay. We highly recommend this game only to enthusiasts of the genre itself.
59% and below: The Scrapyard. Some might find enjoyment in it (maybe even we did), but in the end the game would probably end up being lame to most.

KEEPING IN MIND these percentages, let's check out some of my all-time favorite games that I rated. Some I found to end up having a lower score than I expected (and some with a higher score), but in the end I realized that it made sense).

Kingdom Hearts - 40/48 (81%)
Final Fantasy VI -37/48 (77%)
Final Fantasy VII: 36/48 (75%)
Morrowind - 43/48 (83%)
Uncharted 2 - 44/48 (91%)
Those five are my top five games of ALL TIME. I guess it's not biased after all...

Here are some more of my favorite games I rated:
Metal Gear Solid 3 - 44/48 (91%)
The Last of Us - 42/48 (87%)
GTA V - 47/48 (97%)
Saints Row the Third - 34/48 (70%)
Half Life 2 - 41/48 (85%)

Anyway, in the future I'll probably rate more games that I own using this fashion, but for now I'm going to go ahead and play more GTA V.

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Monday, September 23, 2013

Steam OS announced.

http://store.steampowered.com/livingroom/SteamOS/

"As we’ve been working on bringing Steam to the living room, we’ve come to the conclusion that the
environment best suited to delivering value to customers is an operating system built around Steam itself.
SteamOS combines the rock-solid architecture of Linux with a gaming experience built for the big screen.
It will be available soon as a free stand-alone operating system for living room machines."

According to the article, SteamOS will be a free linux-based operating system made to work for "living room machine" (what this is hasn't exactly been explained by Valve yet, but it's assumed this isn't a PC). It will allow the person to play on their living room TV, using the same UI as "Big Picture". Features are to include better optimization for games, family-sharing (which had already been previously revealed by Valve), and more.

So, what are the next two major Valve announcements? An anonymous user on /v/ thinks he's found it out:



While it makes sense and it would be interesting if it happened, some /v/irgins don't exactly agree with the valve hype...


So, who's right? Looks like we have two days to find out... (hey, at least tomorrow we'll know about the pronunciation book shit going down. It's a week of mystery!)

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Grand Theft Auto V Review


Grand Theft Auto V is the newest addition in Rockstar Game's GTA franchise, known for being one of the most best-selling and controversial franchises in videogame history. The series suffered minor shortcomings in it's 2008 release Grand Theft Auto IV, which got mostly "meh" responses from fans of the series. However, GTA V kicks back into the good old GTA spirit.

Gameplay mostly revolves around three characters -- Trevor, Franklin, and Michael -- which the player can switch between freely. Each character has their own special missions, whether related to the main story or connected to side-missions with the colorful characters they meet with "Strangers and Freaks". Each character has their own cash reserve and stats, which you can build up as time goes on.

The world itself is massive. Previously in other GTA games, there were only a few minor businesses (Burger Shot, Didier Sachs, Binco, Sprunk) who's store you could go into and buy, though some of these businesses you can't even interact with. GTA V contains over 70 companies, some new some returning, which you can completely interact with. Almost every company comes with its own website (which also makes GTA's virtual internet massive), own stock, billboard ads, radio ads, etc. The world also contains a wide variety of animals, ranging from moose to coyotes to sharks and more in which you can interact with and hunt, either for money or for fun.

Speaking of hunting, it is only one of the incredible amount of activities available in the GTA V universe. Things such as camping, tennis, triathlons, and dirt racing only scratch the surface of the things you can do in this world. It's massive, immersive, and fun.

One of the newest and biggest features in GTA V though is heist. Unfortunately, you can not stage your own heists on a whim (NOTE: This is how it is at the percentage of the game I have finished. I will edit this if it turns out to be untrue), the heists are realistic, immersive, and exciting. 

Gameplay-wise, you can easily tell Rockstar listened to the fans by adding Max Payne 3's incredible and highly praised shooting into GTA V. Though auto-aim sometimes gets annoying and makes the game too easy, the gameplay is a load of fun.

Another feature GTA V adds to the table are mission checklists. To the average player these aren't very interesting, but to a completionist it is a whole new challenge to try to complete.

Overall, GTA V's world is immersive and incredible. For those who have been waiting to buy this game because they were unpleased with GTA IV, GTA V fixes a ton of the problems the fourth had.


THE VERDICT -- 10/10

GTA V rivals with the previous successes of Vice City and San Andreas, and is the best game Rockstar has made in years.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Saturday, September 21, 2013

Grand Theft Auto V becomes the biggest entertainment launch in history, making $1bil in first 3 days.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2013/09/20/grand-theft-auto-v-crosses-1b-in-sales-biggest-entertainment-launch-in-history/

Grand Theft Auto V has been reported to sell over 16 million copies now, giving a total monetary amount of more than 1 billion dollars. Needless to say this is likely the fastest any entertainment product has ever reached: to put in perspective, The Avengers made $1 billion in 19 days. The previous record holder for greatest entertainment launch, Black Ops 2, didn't get it until 14 days. There's a pretty damn long time between 14 and 3 days.

This 16 million sold count also should completely dispel any rumors of it causing anyone to be violent. Unless everyone who owns the damn thing becomes violent, AKA Fox News' fantasy (owned the game for 3 days now, nothing yet), it will probably simply count as an isolated incident (which, oh wait, it is.)

Honestly I don't see how people are actually MAD at the media for these stunts. What you should be doing is laughing your ass off with the rest of us -- obviously the media's stunts for attention are doing nothing (as seen by the record). And, practically all actually certified psychologists agree that games have literally no correlation with violence (seriously, "FOX News' official psychologist" is a position that's fucking laughable). Speaking of which, go have a laugh with this one here:


http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/09/13/foxs-ablow-links-video-games-and-mass-shootings/195872



Anyway, my own review of GTA V will come later today, though this means probably no posts tomorrow.

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Friday, September 20, 2013

M&Ms



but seriously if you didn't do this at least once before you are literally hitler

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

TIL that a person can only pull out the Sword in the Stone at Fantasyland (Disney) when there is a light in a window nearby.

http://www.hiddenmickeys.org/disneyland/secrets/fantasy/general.html

"When standing inside the castle looking at the sword in the anvil with the carousel in the background, look up to the right and you'll see a little window with a green light in it. When the wizard comes out for his show look for the light to change red. When it does, the kid pulling on the sword with be the one to move it."

Even though I've only been to Disneyland once, I love checking out these Disneyland "secrets". This one I haven't heard of yet, so I'd thought it be good to post it.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Monday, September 16, 2013

Who will win GOTY? -- A statistical representation of the top three.

As we all know, the GOTY of this year has been separated into three games so far: The Last of Us, Bioshock Infinite, and GTA V. I was bored and decided to upload my findings here 'cause yolo.


Critics score is the average of ALL critic scores,
User score is the average metacritic + gamespot user score,
Sales are taken from vgchartz.com, and yes, all of GTA V's sales are in pre-orders.

So, who do you think is the best?

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Sunday, September 15, 2013

you're correct

Well it's been 6 days and I STILL haven't found enough time to make HTML Basics Part 2, so instead enjoy you're correct horse

Friday, September 13, 2013

TIL that today, on Friday the 13th, there is a flight to HEL.

Can't really get a source on this one, but it's all over the internet so it should be easy to find.

Today, Flight 666 is going from Copenhagen, Denmark to HEL (that's the airport code for Helsinki, Finland!). What could possibly go wrong?

The boarding pass of reddit user /u/GPilla... what a poor, unfortunate soul.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

5 browser games you can play right now

I'm not exactly sure how views on blogspot work, but either way I now have 200 views without advertising on a single website! Honestly, that sounds pretty good to me.

Since there's 20 minutes left in my class right now and I have literally nothing to do, here's 5 browser games you can play RIGHT NOW your browser (which I would be playing if I wasn't making this.)


1. Desktop Dungeons (HTML 5 version)



Link: http://www.desktopdungeons.net/HTML5/

Desktop Dungeons is a game that, if you play right, you will spend countless hours on. It is also a game that you will loose to countless times.

It's a roguelike, which means its goal isn't necessarily to "win", but to get as far through as you can and get a high score.  There are 7 races, 18 classes, 5 dungeons, and a special "campaign" mission. Most of this you need to unlock by fulfilling the requirements each one has, and though it can take ages to unlock something, the feeling of satisfaction never loses its touch.

2. Focus


Link: http://www.kongregate.com/games/UnknownJoe796/focus

Focus is based off an older computer game remade into flash, and is known for being an actually fun flash platform/puzzle hybird that isn't ridiculously annoying. It's hard, fast-paced, and most of all fun.

Tower of Greed is similar to Desktop Dungeons in the way that it lasts forever, is hard, and fun. However instead of being a roguelike RPG, Tower of Greed is a fast-paced, top-down platforming game. The goal is to get a lot of gems and exit the tower, which is a LOT harder than it seems.

(Sadly, one day a Kongregate update happened to bug this game out a little bit. In order to play it, all you need to do is Right click -> play )

4. Knightmare Tower


Link: http://www.kongregate.com/games/JuicyBeast/knightmare-tower

A game I'm sure most of you have heard of, "Knightmare Tower" is a 'launch' game made by the same people who did Burrito Bison, who are okay in my book because they make launch games that actually involve gameplay. Knightmare Tower however tends to have more you actually playing the game then you watching your guy do things, upgrading, then watching your guy go a little farther.

5. Plasma Burst 2




Link: http://www.plazmaburst2.com/?s=2&a=

Get out of the damn way, Raze and Strike Force Heroes! On the (near) top of my list of god-tier flash shooters (there's a lot), Plazma Burst is ridiculously fun. Ragdoll physics, exploding aliens, great combat, exploding aliens, and GOD DAMN THESE PHYSICS. But really, play this game if you haven't already.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

"The Danger Zone"

Don't have anything meaningful to post today, so posting a chat that will probably put me in the "danger zone" for getting this blog shut down.

Jake Conway the Retributionist: you heard about that?
ig.Astuka: that was the one where 4chan and reddit tried to have a race to figure out who it was
ig.Astuka: that's the only thing i know about it
Jake Conway the Retributionist: oh
ig.Astuka: the closest to the danger zone i think i've ever been is that i watched the midnight premiere of the dark knight rises in colorado
ig.Astuka: that movie was fucking awesome
ig.Astuka: seriously with the imax i felt like i was right in the action
ig.Astuka: so intense
Jake Conway the Retributionist: did you feel like bane came out of the screen
ig.Astuka: yes
Jake Conway the Retributionist: and started shooting people
ig.Astuka: no
ig.Astuka: he just came out
ig.Astuka: and was like
ig.Astuka: "you have my permission to die, batmun"
ig.Astuka: it was so fucking good
ig.Astuka: 10/10 movie
ig.Astuka: lived up to the hype
Jake Conway the Retributionist: oh well it would have been cool if bane came out and shot a bunch of people
Jake Conway the Retributionist: my friend saw that screening lol

Monday, September 9, 2013

The Basics of HTML [Part 1]

Well, as it turns out, thinking of stuff to put on a blog is a LOT harder than I intended, though that's probably just because I keep throwing it off until it's near midnight and by that point I want to sleep so I just make something short.


For this post, I'm going to actually try and do something that might be effective rather than filler and teach the basics of HTML! oh great

So what is HTML anyways? Well, it is the backbone to any website. When you draw a picture (take in mind this means actually intending to draw it well), you tend to start with a rough, light outline before you start on the details. In the case of web programming, HTML is the sketch and CSS is the details (we'll get into CSS later)

First of all, in order to run HTML code, you'll need to make a HTML file. This is actually really easy to do -- just open up TextEdit or Notepad and save it as a .html (this can be done just by adding a ".html" at the end and saving it as "any file".

Even though most of us with common sense know that if a file with ".html" at the end of it means its a HTML file, computers need a little more help, mostly because computers are fucking stupid (actually, let me rephrase that: computers are like children that start off mind-blowingly stupid,  but can end up knowing a lot as long as they stay away from the streets (...I don't know what the 'streets' would be computerwise...)). Because of this, we need to give them a little more guidance on what the file is, and that's why we start off every HTML code like this:

<!DOCTYPE html>

<html></html>

The "<!DOCTYPE html>" tells the computer "Okay, I know it says '.html' right outside the gate, but this is for SURE a html file." The actual <html> says "Everything inside these two brackets are ALL the code, ignore anything else." Pretty stupid I know, but like I said computers are special.

From there it gets pretty easy. <title> changes the title of the page (Notice how the top tab of this page probably says something like "Astuka's Blog"? Well, that's the "title" of the page.

<h1>, <h2>, and <h3> change normal text into headers. For example, if I put this into my code:

<h1> Titty Sprinkles </h1>

It would come out to be something like:

Titty Sprinkles

Then there's the pretty obvious ones like <b> for bold, <emp> for emphasis, and... uh... honestly I have no idea what the fuck underline is supposed to be.

Anywho, next time in Part 2 (if it happens) I will talk about more advanced HTML commands, such as <div> and <ul>/<ol>. For now, test out what you know! (just remember: just <p> to make a paragraph.)

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
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Sunday, September 8, 2013

"Meeting God" by Anonymous

They say the best thing to say when you have nothing to say yourself is something someone else has said. This is a philosophical short story written by an anonymous person who knows how long ago, and was originally posted on the site"thecastsite.com"

Meeting God

By Anonymous





You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that's when you met me.

"What... what happened?" You asked. "Where am I?"

"You died," I said, matter-of-factly. No point mincing words.

"There was a... a truck and it was skidding..."

"Yup." I said.

"I... I died?"

"Yup. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies." I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. "What is this place?" You asked. "Is this the afterlife?"

"More or less," I said.

"Are you god?" You asked.

"Yup." I replied. "I'm God."

"My kids... my wife," you said.

"What about them?"

"Will they be alright?"

"That's what I like to see," I said. "You just died and your main concern is your family. That's good stuff right there."

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague authority figure. More of a a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

"Don't worry," I said. "They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved." "To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty for feeling relieved."

"Oh," you said. "So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?"

"Neither," I said. "You'll be reincarnated."

"Ah," you said. "So the Hindus were right."

"All the religions are right in their own way," I said. "Walk with me."

You followed along as we strolled in the void. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere in particular," I said. "It's just nice to walk while we talk."

"So what's the point, then?" You asked. "When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won't matter?"

"Not so!" I said. "You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now."

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. "Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it's hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had."

"You've been a human for the last 34 years, so you haven't stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for longer, you'd start remembering everything. But there's no point doing that between each life."

"How many times have I been reincarnated then?"

"Oh, lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different lives." I said. "This time around you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D."

"Wait, what?" You stammered. "You're sending me back in time?"

"Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from."

"Where you come from?" You pondered.

"Oh, sure!" I explained. "I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there's others like me. I know you'll want to know what it's like there but you honestly won't understand."

"Oh." You said, a little let down. "But wait, if I get reincarnated to other places in time, could I have interacted with myself at some point?"

"Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own timespan, you don't even know its happening."

"So what's the point of it all?"

"Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? You're asking me for the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical?"

"Well, it's a reasonable question." You persisted.

I looked in your eye. "The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature."

"You mean mankind? You want us to mature?"

"No. Just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature, and become a larger and greater intellect."

"Just me? What about everyone else?"

"There is no one else," I said. "In this universe, there's just you, and me."

You stared blankly at me. "But all the people on Earth..."

"All you. Different incarnations of you."

"Wait. I'm everyone!?"

"Now you're getting it." I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

"I'm every human who ever lived?"

"Or who will ever live, yes."

"I'm Abraham Lincoln?"

"And you're John Wilkes Booth." I added.

"I'm Hitler?" You said, appalled.

"And you're the millions he killed."

"I'm Jesus?"

"And you're everyone who followed him."

You fell silent.

"Every time you victimized someone," I said, "You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you."

"Why?" You asked me. "Why do all this?"

"Because someday, you will become like me. Because that's what you are. You're one of my kind. You're my child."

"Whoa." You said, incredulous. "You mean I'm a god?"

"No. Not yet. You're a fetus You're still growing. Once you've lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born." 

"So the whole universe," you said. "It's just..."

"An egg of sorts." I answered. "Now it's time for you to move on to your next life."

And I sent you on your way.



 Transcribed by Mac Davis for Philosophy Circle's reading catalogue.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis 




Thursday, September 5, 2013

Yui810 2007-2013: The End of a Journey (Part 2)

"Yui810" was the account in which, you could say, for the first time I really got into the game. Previously, I logged in once and a while and got on a building game, then built till some asshole deleted my stuff. This time, I actually attempted to be part of this "community" of ROBLOX.

I began to socialize more in games, communicating with people in chat. Though my mother warned me of "the horrors of internet communication!" I figured, even though I was still a wee lad, I knew what I was doing (which, as it turns out, I did) and did it anyway. This was also the time I began to forum, mostly going on roleplays (I still had the imagination of a child, but still wanted things to go my way. This resulted in many a ban from roleplays, or me just ragequitting) and going on OT/SF, which at this time (Off Topic) was much more friendlier than it was now, and at this time I actually still enjoyed sports (Sports Forum). This trend continued until what is known as the UCW '09 (United Clan War '09), a war known by many names yet was still the greatest internet conflict and event I had ever participated in.

For those who joined later on after this war, it literally changed everything. In its wake, the creation of some of the greatest war-clan powerhouses (UCR, RAT, and FEAR) happened to be made this time, also the group feature (to this day members are still unsure if this was created due to the admins believing that clans were finally extremely popular, or to keep away from group confusion).

Anyway, the war went like this: The two greatest clans at the time, X-101st (which was the first group closing in to hitting 10k members) and REF (which, for the most part had the most "political" power on ROBLOX, being the main leader of the Roblox Coalition lead by NearmissTFW who, for the most part, was a secret REF benefactor.) This wasn't just any normal, "huehue clan war" though, this was as serious as two groups of 5-10 year olds could possibly get. Imagine: The front page of every sub-forum had something to say about the war. Every place you went to, even if it was an obby that had nothing to do with clan wars, had some clan members fighting over what was happening -- sometimes even blocking things for people who weren't in "their group".

Now, that's just the stuff that didn't involve clan wars: actual forts were filled to the brim with people. Tons of men would get on top the walls of the fort with carbines and shotguns until someone finally broke through -- killing the defenders and letting the attackers through. This continued until finally the server emptied. This was war.

Now, at the time, I was the "self-proclaimed" fourth-in-command of REF. I say "self-proclaimed" because in reality I probably wasn't, but that doesn't matter now since history belongs to the most-annoying and repetitive and most people who matter believe that I was (take in mind that, like I said, this was before the group feature). I also owned a group name the 24th legion, which had about 3 or 4 members, but like I said about history, that group is considered to be one of the main groups in the war.

Anyway, after that war (the REF-R.C ended up winning) I continued to C&G for awhile, until I moved back to OT due to "lack of action". A few months past by (more than a year in total) until the "moderation news" forum was somehow leaked on OT. This was before they had the intelligence to hide forums apparently, so everyone started posting on this particular forum. For the lels, I decided to post once -- and, long story short, I ended up getting perma'd for little to no reason.


This lead to more childlike depression, until finally I manned the fuck up and ended in probably the greatest of all my accounts and where the legacy really began (and ended): yui810ghostofotpast.

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Yui810 2007-2013: The End of a Journey (Part 1)

Recently, I finally ended a long, 6 year legacy that was my Roblox account for more focus. The game might be shit now, but I would be lying if I said that I did not learn or gain anything from my experience on that site.

It started in July 2007. The exact day of which, I am not sure -- as the account has long since been banned. The name? monutdonut. Why? I was a fucking retarded child, I don't know why.

As the story goes, I was looking for a free-to-play MMO game to play, since my favorite at that time, Runescape, turned to shit with its member BS and I wanted to play a game that actually allowed you to do most of the features. About 50 Google pages and probably hundreds of viruses later, I happened to find "ROBLOX".

Now at this time, ROBLOX barely had any members compared to its three million or so today, so the community was small and games normally only had a few people on them at a time (the biggest games normally only had 300 online at one time compared to its 2k or so later). The only form of customization was t-shirts, but hats were hinted at beyond infinity and so were eventually implemented. I'd say my first game was probably Crossroads, which compared to what it is now was majorly different.

For the most part, the games were separated into three categories:  ROBLOX games (such as Martian Invasion, Santa's Stronghold, Crossroads), RPGs (very early in design, I want to say the first popular one was "Legends" RPG, known for its absolutely ridiculous VIP), and Building games, obviously the most popular as the entire site was designed around just that -- building.

The best ones were, in my opinion, Space Explorers and the Island Roleplay. There were many others that were good, but were later changed, deleted, or just didn't make it anywhere. It was at one of these places though, where monutdonut ended.

At this point I have been playing the game for more than a year (August 2008 iirc), and I was at one of my favorite building games. The biggest menace in ROBLOX at the time were "deleters", and thankfully none had come into the server yet. I should've known my luck would change.

Out of no where, my beautiful house I had spent 2+ hours on started disappearing. In a flurry of child rage, I started spamming all of the cuss words I knew into chat, and eventually found myself disconnected.

I went to the homepage to find my account had been banned for excessive profanity.

I had strikes before from similar things, yet the feeling of being banned permanently from my favorite game was too much for me to handle. I whined, complained on the forums, and eventually cried myself to sleep like the faggot I was.

However, this was just the beginning, for the next morning I made an account under the name "yui810", and that's when things really got underway.

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

How to make drop down menus using JQuery

A cool little thing I learned today using JQuery (so I guess this kind of doubles as a TIL as well). You know the drag-down boxes located at some websites? Well, it's easy to do using some JS.

First, set up your html:

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
    <head>
    <title>[Title]</title>
        <link rel='stylesheet' type='text/css' href='http://code.jquery.com/ui/1.9.1/themes/base/jquery-ui.css'/>
        <script type='text/javascript' src='script.js'></script>
        <script src="//ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jqueryui/1.9.1/jquery-ui.min.js"></script>
</head>
<body>
        <div id="menu">
            <h3>[h3]</h3>
            <div>
                <p>[p]</p>
            </div>
            <h3>[h3]</h3>
            <div>
                <p>[p]</p>
            </div>
            <h3>[h3]</h3>
            <div>
                <p>[p] </p>
            </div>
        </div>
</body>
</html>


Most of this should seem pretty elementary to you. Well, the "h3" will be what displays as the "name" dropdown (aka the thing you see before dropping it down) while the <p> text is what follows.

Here's the actual JS:

$(document).ready(function() {
    $("#menu").accordion({collapsible: true, active: false});
});

The function is a pre-made feature inside of JQuery. I just thought it was kinda cool.

---

Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis 

Monday, September 2, 2013

TIL & is called an ampersand

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampersand

The more you know I guess.

I've been thinking of actually making this blog kind of a "Today I Learned" sort of thing, putting the old statement "You learn something new everyday" to the test. I did have this idea before and even though I didn't intend on making it this blog, it still could happen. It kind of goes against the name of the blog though, but that could be changed. Or perhaps just a small side-feature when I don't really have anything else to write? What does my silent audience think?

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Twitter: @CodexofAegis
Facebook: facebook.com/CodexofAegis