A Cup of Pseudo-Philosophy -- 3 Theories of Death

Hey, remember 3 or so weeks ago when I said I would be making this and it would be released that Sunday? No? Good, because it never happened! Not at all!

Anyway, in this new attempt at being overly pretentious, I'm going to step into the shoes of Aristotle or whoever that old kook was and pretend I know more about a completely unknown topic more than anyone else: Death!

Most of the popular death theories either revolve around highly convoluted god stories that requires all of the prerequisites to be true before the death theory itself to be true, or just an extremely lazy explanation because fuck it, we don't know. For this, I am setting myself in a position where I apply no religions (at least of which I am aware of) but also try to explain it while using as many known facts as possible. That being, probably none once so ever. As you've read the title by now you probably know that there's not one, not two, but THREE original theories on death I have created, and although I am almost certain you may have heard something like these before due to the unoriginality constant, take in mind that I am using very little outside information and can ascertain that these are original, and probably because of that going to be pretty damn nonsensical. So with our first one, let us start with the most nonsensical of all!

Number one: The Multiverse Theory

What is the multiverse theory? Good question: the term "multiverse" is a borrowed term that I stole from somebody somewhere, but I don't remember what it was actually used for. So this could be either probably the exact same thing or a little different, but just remember my introduction.

This theory revolves around the idea that there are a near infinitely many universes, all in which every available situation to every action or event has its own universe. Let me give an example: right now, I'm going to assume you're reading this on a desktop (if not, just bare with me -- I'm not here because I can read minds...) Now, you'll probably read this normally, but what if you stopped reading to go get something to eat from the fridge? What if you closed this out to watch epic meme videos on youtube? What if you just all of a sudden started throwing up all over the damn place?

All four of these actions -- normal, fridge, meme, and vomit -- are just a few of the many things that could happen to you, even if they are highly unlikely. However, even the most unlikely ones have its own universe, where that specific point did indeed happen.

So, what decides that you are in the universe you are now? Well, quite obviously its the one where you are conscious of what's happening, but what happens when you die in this universe?

Simple, you don't. Right now, you are inside the universe in which, due to all luck, you just happen to live for an infinity amount of years. Yes, you can still feel pain, you can still get diseases, etc. etc., but you cannot actually die from any of these. The reasons other people have died is because this is not the universe in which they are conscious, and they are instead really in another universe. So basically, you're talking to someone who has no conscious. Sound familiar?

"B-b-but, I am conscious, but I am reading your blogpost right now! How does that work?" you might ask. Well, let us remember that there are near infinite universes with different possibilities, and so that makes a lot in which this blogpost is still made. Basically: if this theory is true, we're communicating through DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS! Pretty crazy, right?

Now, I'm not going to lie: This theory does take a few liberties, so let's get a little more down to earth, but perhaps not entirely scientifically accurate.

Number two: It's all a dream, Michael!

Alright, let's say you do die. Well, it's likely you probably won't be looking at a black screen for eternity, because that requires you to be conscious, while the whole idea of death is that you're probably not. So, what point are you not conscious in your everyday life? That's right -- when you're asleep!

The dream theory states that, when you die, a part of your brain stays awake, and brings you into a dream state. This dream state lasts for the rest of eternity, however once you realize you are dreaming, you will be able to take full control of your dreams to the point where you can make your dreams whatever you want. For most of us, that may seem kind of hard -- but don't worry, you have plenty of time to do it! And if you already know, then I guess you could say you're ahead of the curb!

This is the oldest theory I've made (sometime at age 12 or so) and with it there are some major inconsistencies, one of which is the definition of death itself, which states that death is when the brain shuts down entirely. Could it be that we've overlooked something, even in the realm of modern science? Not impossible, but unlikely. There's also the idea that the brain is an organ, and it decomposes over time with the rest of the body -- so even if there was a part still active, it would eventually die out.

Fortunately, this all leads to our 3rd and final conclusion.

Number three: The Spirits Within

After realizing these two had flaws when I gathered them for this post originally, I decided to lay down a try and find one last one that had the least amount of flaws as possible. And so, we lead into part 3.

I came under the impression that trying to discover death is impossible without assuming that there is something greater that we don't know -- not necessarily a god, but a vehicle of both creation and destruction that exists and governs the universe. And so I came under the impression that the most reasonable way to explain with there still being this vehicle, is ghosts.

Your conscious is what makes you. It decides personality, actions, everything -- and its safe to say that, like matter, there's no way it can actually die. So let's assume this conscious, when released after the body has passed, becomes an undetectable force. You are still conscious, but you are no longer limited to a body and can move around the world, galaxy, and universe freely. You can also inhabit beings that, there bodies are living, but they do not have a conscious (assuming those exist). So, in the end, yes I said it: spirits are actually the most reasonable way to explain death.

Then again, there is a lot we don't know, that leads to infinite interpretations. The only way we can figure out what death is, is when we go into death itself -- but in the case death fucks us over, let's enjoy life first. 

Have a theory you'd like to share? Why make your own blog post when you can simply write in the comments below? Also, don't forget to check out Codex of Aegis for my stories, and follow @JohnMcGroover for updates on both sites.

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